What are Values?
Your personal code of values are what's important to you; not something you want or would like to have, but something you literally need in your life to be happy. A value is a principle or quality intrinsically valuable or desirable to you. Values are personal. They are your convictions, your beliefs, and your ethics rolled into one. Your personal code of values may be identical to your family's values. Or they may be dramatically different.
The Importance of Values
Living in agreement with one's values is fulfilling. Living in conflict with one's values is stressful and dissatisfying. That's why it is so important to clearly understand your own personal code of values. To find a happier life, live in accordance with your values.
Be Stress Free
Stress does not result from hard work, long hours, or multiple roles in life. Stress results from values conflicts. When put in a situation where you are unable to honor a value, you will feel stressed out. No amount of relaxation, meditation, or exercise will eliminate the stress until the values conflict is resolved.
The Right Values
It's important that we separate what society, culture, and family values from our individual set of values. Values are not about right and wrong as a broad, cultural construct, but about what's right and wrong for you as an individual, given who you are and what you want in your life. What you truly value is--by definition--right for you. What you value may not be right for those close to you and may be a source of disagreement and dissatisfaction if others attempt to enforce their code of values on you.
Determine Your Personal Values
Determining your own personal code of values can take either of two directions. You can:
- Start with a long list of general values, and pick those important to you, or
- Build your list from scratch based on your life experiences.
The first method, picking values from a list, may subconsciously encourage you to select values you think you should have, rather than those really important to you. The second method, though more difficult initially, will be more accurate and more rewarding.
Try both and see which works best for you. There are many values lists on the Internet such as this list.
To build your own list from personal experiences follow this process:
- Think of a brief moment in your experience when life was especially satisfying and rewarding.
- What were you doing?
- Who was present?
- What qualities or values were you displaying?
Real Life Example
You respond to a frantic knock on the door and see a young girl, perhaps eight years old, with a boy about four. The boy is choking and the girl, obviously his sister, is frightened. Without thinking you pick up the boy, turn him upside down, and firmly rap him several times on the back with the palm of your hand. A whole piece of hard candy that was blocking the boy's airway pops out and the boy takes several deep, grateful breaths.
In that rewarding moment you display the values of bravery, helpfulness, responsibility, and problem-solving action.
Living Your Purpose
Why is it important to understand your own personal values? Values are linked to purpose in life. You might say that your purpose is to live your values. When you do, life is good.
If you liked this article you may also like an article showing you how to capitalize on your strengths.
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Jerry Lopper - IPPA member, business and engineering degrees. Jerry's passion for personal development shows in 5 books, hundreds of articles & ...
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